And in a city...

The Politics of canteen buying and some

When i entered school age, everything was really new. Quite vividly, I can still remember my pre-actual grade 1 experience during dinner, I asked my mother if a whole day schooling is okay. Before dusk set in, I approached the start of my serious academics with vigor and cleaned all my bookstore-smelling-but-i-love-it-anyway school items with tissue and alcohol, even the plastic flat box of my 16 pc. crayola. I sharpened all my perfect cone shaped graphites, and neatly piled my sepia (because i had no concept of whiteness with gratis to my mother whose notebook decisions are little less confined to what can be more practically afforded), placed neat and straight bond papers, rulers, paste, and other sorts of art papers (that now I find it pretty much useless and funny)in the clear envelope. I was not a Disney-worhipping child, but I always would want everything pleasing to the eyes and pastel in hue. I went to school like an adult,devilishly eyeing (as a matter of fact) adults even big kids as if this 4-ft something is someone they should fear. During break times, I always had juice and sandwich. But after a while, my parents got tired of fixing me a good-parent-merienda that I had to tirelessly exhaust a quarter of my break lining the mamihan arm of the canteen. 1997, apart from the looming Asian crisis, is the year I was oriented that kids can in fact change their personal menus, nutrition aside. The heavens defecated Piatos and entrusted its key special ingredients to Jack and Jill.I had tasted it first from my friend, and it was this time when asking for some spare was difficult because kids tend to be so possessive with their items very much and unsurprisingly including food. I therefore theorized that I got my first answer to the ho-hum question of the righteous "what is my life's purpose" when I tasted potato chips powdered with cheese that crushed my taste buds and classified all distinct four into one classic gastronomic euphoria. My science teacher, at some point, deceived me, but took the extra credit anyway. Piatos was sold at P7.00 and immediately the next day, I ran ahead after Bless-us-Oh-Lord, to plunge into the sea of kids raising their bills, screaming decibels as if the tindera is at the other side of the road. We were a club of superficial people who only want a piece of the new brand(our first introduction to phoniness). That is, everytime further pupils come within the area of extreme heat and stress, pre-existing lining kids would tender a poisonous alarm of displeasure. As a fight and flight response, muscular power increases beyond measure enough to push towards the grills half past people as if they're chickens about to be chickened, voices sharpened enough to overpower 3 weaklings, and arms extend beyond 60 degrees, innocently shoving off whoever it is that got in its way. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the politics of canteen buying. Its Harold and Kumar's pre-and intra- experience to whitecastle except were not debating racism, migration politics, who should be on the wheel, and buying pot. The ordeal after acquiring the purchase is another political idea, however. This was also the time wherein I had developed my concept of hating and liking people. It was when I was 7 that I discovered my affinity to the misfits, rejects and weirds. Its just that over kids who love to display the "amor" of their greatness, I find it gratifying to share my baon and spare some talk to people who especially gets bullied. I also discovered that a slight magnification of their presence will move me into tears. I had this fat girl classmate who was asked to write something on the board, and I gazed at her like I would have done to Mama Mary at the school grotto because of her cuteness and size. The way she stood up carefully bringing her plus-sized extremities in control and her gluteus would seem stick out. Some of my classmates would tease her and I would look at them straight. But there was one time when she was asked to write again, and the same thing happened, I stupidly cried. At this point in time, I was already active in extra curricular activities. It was also at this point that I can say I loved coloring and I always wanted to see my work posted in front of everybody else, which was not the case all the time.

ayesha

Righteousness aside

4:44 AM
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I have forgotten to address few questions that quite baffled me on rabies. The thing on hydrophobia, if the reason happens to be laryngeal spasm, why does it have to be so liquid-specific. Laryngeal spasms itself cause inability to swallow, then it may also include the solids. If liquid’s resemblance to saliva perhaps explains it, then neurologic-defect bound anxieties enables them to reject liquids. I also have come to know that difficulty of breathing, swallowing, and the feeling of strangulation comes with the combined spasmodic effects of the diaphragm and larynx. I have this realization in the past on the real essence of the nurse’s work – that it should have been disease prevention and treatment in the first place. If it’s otherwise, we would just be the same as everybody else. No professional meaning can we grasp from what we do, if we make the fundamental the most essential, discounting that exclusive knowledge we impart that makes us put more feathers in our cap. It’s the high-end that delineates us from the average. However, it was on rabies that made me realize that the fundamental remains to be the most essential. If the goal of health care is independence, then we must bank on our efforts towards equating independence not with the management of diseases, but in the consistent observance of health being the primary target. To nurse is mutli-tiered, so we also put prime to prevention and treatment but only if the limelight fails to power enough energy. A bite to death makes me recall Snow White’s careless indulgence to the witch’s apple, but contemporary times (in the rabies sense) put careless complacency drawing closer to Travis’ deadened left. It is the same complacency that adds more damage to the damaged in every aspect of pathology. Therefore countering this potent reclusion from what science can give calls for putting the same compelling persuasion that we can offer. The local barangays must intensify its information dissemination about when and when not to touch dogs, what must be done after getting bitten, and that each is responsible for propagating and actualizing the knowledge acquired. It is also in the same light that responsible pet ownership must be practiced, and that stray animals must be rightfully placed to sheltered agencies. I feel so ambivalent injecting medicine to people. While I gain experience, they gain their life back, but the trauma remains. While I rejoice for every bleb I formed on their deltoid regions, God knows what they’re minds pull off from the pain. It’s anachronistic the way life spells the check and balance sort of practice. Our experience is their life’s uncertain direction (this realization being optimized in critical wards in the hospital).

ayesha

Evaluation

5:12 AM
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My apologies for such an overly overdue opinion. I speak not just in behalf of the team I head, but for the people I meet along that merit these observations.

The Intramurals 2008 in totality was a remarkable improvement from last year’s proceedings. I appreciate the foresight of Saligan in managing the teams responsible for a number of committees. By management, we do not only mean group compression of their specific capacities, but more than this is effective communication relayed by their heading superiors. I see, that the supreme council has also extended their efforts to aggressive information dissemination (not that I am compelled to make a comparison) especially to those uninvolved in the major and minor events in the said event. They must have honored that intuition that unless they make a move to inform, the students will remain in their stereotyped assumptions. It is good that they added and maintained these progress boards. Unfortunate people who failed to witness the result announcements have been granted the privilege and convenience to refer to the teams they support and their current standings. These bulletin boards gave justice especially to minor games, who in my opinion, suffers lack of support from participating teams. The intellectual people in ST battling for word power may discount the idea of active encouraging (preferring an environment that is more languid to their taste). Nevertheless, active or languid support, as the case may be, defines a multifactorial sphere that influences ones performance on a good note. The likes of dart, chess, and table tennis aren't exemptions. I move for the supreme council to engage students to witness more of these equally exhilarating games. The people are much more obliged to the obviously visible and “cheerables". It's all about right advertisements.

I also appreciated the GACP’s heading of the attendance this year primarily because they heeded (for a major institutional event high risk for absences) a good majority’s clamor for the abolition of paper jog due to issues of uselessness and time constraint. However, the same issues that went perfectly unresolved yet have come to surface during the 5-6 day event. Checkers tasked to designated rooms left at most 5 minutes before the scheduled closing hour. Not that I am a lover for extending the extendable. Nonetheless, for students who were basking under the thought of fine redemption until the last minutes the organization has promised to save them, a good 5 minutes is crucial. I am speaking with reference to a lot of people who reportedly were disappointed about the early exit. The time I checked was accurate. And another thing, I do not know if this was already a previous issue from GACP’s evaluation last year, but it would be a privilege if departmental organization officers were given a package of little compensation. A cackle and an incongruous retort maybe unsurprising, dismissing the idea as absurd and out of the context of virtues, maybe even because this suggestion is not in every inch very scientific and people might resolve to ideas equating the real essence of service. However, I consider this a consolation for the efforts made. I am not keen to processing how this package works, but a lot of officers were fined because of failure of signing the attendance sheets because of fairly excusable reasons. More than the departmental officers, I believe the GACP should have a list of all the players of each department with their specific schedules of play. Automatically, these participants will be saved from signing their attendance. As a playing faction for example, it has been an arduous task to submit and resubmit schedules to the GACP for attendance clearance. I think this is also consolation for participating students. It is not I believe as what others would want to engage to believe, materializing the reciprocal of what they can give. Games at crucial schedules are not easy to abbreviate. They need all the time to prepare physically and mentally. The delegation for the formal cheerers for example paid an equal fine with those who failed to sign the attendance just because the attendance sheet was not passed by one of the officers accountable. It is cumbersome for some whose tasks are concentrated on trying to even out the details for a competition. I also appeal for pro-players package, by which participating individuals can get lesser fines at each attendance missed. Its all about consolation, about seeing these people sacrifice much even to the extent of academics (the prioritization mantra not always workable because by all means, we are only humans), and getting the lesser dues compared to other people. I would likened it to the best of my understanding on taxation, where tax cuts were offered to those who give much but in average, still remains inadequate, and no-tax cuts for those who can establish an equilibrium of what they spend and earn, maybe even securing a little more of something for future uses. The figurative counterpart translated to intramurals business in connection with the earlier statements is what I wanted to express. Departmental praise may be fleeting and trivial. At the end of the day, they look at class receipts with discontentment, carefully criticizing the balance of efforts made and grants reaped.

One of the things I also appreciated is that whenever there are protests and obvious delineations to the guidelines spelled, the Office of Student Affairs, really makes the effort to consult all the teams concerned and discuss appropriate consequences. I thought that this was the mature and formal proceeding of any civilian concerned, however in the latest gathering our departmental organization has attended in the name of our course, it was pretty insensitive for the organizers to place the least importance towards considering this unavoidable side of competition. Teams who clearly violate deserve to get the equal consequence depending on its gravity, or if it’s all-or-nothing, disqualification. The guides should not be distorted by any philosophical rationalizing of probabilities. It is what it is, just what an average person would understand.

The scheduling of the intramurals was organized, and the proceedings from registration, to sports-related jargon of issues, to announcement of winners, to protests were fairly successful. I agree that everybody appreciates punctuality and this was clearly actualized from Day 1 to Day 6 of the night events, as the case would normally be the opposite in the past. I looked at my watch everytime and I agree that 9 and not later than 9:30 pm should be the closing for any program delivered. The audience speaks for themselves in cases of disappointment. We were just taken aback from Saligan’s announcement to collect a 50 for the Hale concert. It was like a pro bono until they required in every clearance to pay the fee. I understand that it is not slyness that kept them thinking that with such a performing group, they can bullseye the minimum tolerance of audience turnout for the closing. I’d like to think the idea actually worked. Far from the Hale positive-gearing mayhem, are the feelings of participants who should deserve recognition and respect. This was their night. Last year’s awarding was just like a closing chapter from a publicized limelight, but this was different. As much as I’d hate to say it, but because of Hale, a lot recognized those worthy to be recognized. With them walking along the aisle waving whatever it is the teams they are in, people looking and cheering at them like Hercules, that perhaps is the best music a team head can hear for the night.

I myself learned a lot from the formalities at how the upper forms conduct parliamentary meetings and though I must admit, I chuckled at such formality, the benefits we reap from effective communication and careful recognition of opinions lead much to the establishment of solutions for issues that govern the event. I myself am planning to adopt a modifiable parliamentary approach for the organization next year. That a systematic approach at things and being extra attentive to the smallest of details can entail reaps of security. That one is never too old to learn about temperance, the one thing leadership books should not miss describing as unfortunate circumstances may favor unique reactions from people we meet. I learned a lot about people and how to appreciate even the smallest movement of their arms and how it pains them especially if team resources are inadequate to cure them. It is with these simplicities and complexities that I learned more to love others, more of myself and more and more of God.

ayesha

Stories from My Community Health Nursing

5:47 AM
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Reflections

When I say I had my apprehensions in this new course, I didn’t mean to imply accepting wholeheartedly all my limitations and just stop there. I realized that spontaneous and sure circumstances are easy, but those challenging few are the ones that would shape your flexibility and creativity. I say challenging because more often than not, you will be walking side by side with failure, but being this extraordinary individual you know you can break lateral gravity. Before you know it, you will be that person who thinks and acts 100 paces from the others. I see community health nursing as a challenge because in the past I always had my fair share of demeaning moments. Beyond the lines of recognition, I cannot seem to satisfy my standard. It is either there is a glitch in this system I am adopting, or I am less confined to sacrifice and my own lines of discipline. I wanted redemption so bad I’ll do anything to change the way things are looking. I wanted to be vindicated not by familiarity but by the values that I practice, this dignity that I’ve always kept up, and the whole package of being excellent and outstanding. I will study, and if this is not enough, I’ll take its superlative. I’ll take and do the superlative of everything good so that I can be that person I once established. I will read and improve beyond books and lectures. I will practice until the time I see it perfect. I will accept criticisms, arrogance, and demeaning causes, but I will never accept that I am a failure and a weakling, because I never was, never am, and never will. All of us can do it, we just have to think we can.

The Day I said Hello to Alojepan, MD
If I say the quiz is okay, that’ll be pretending. For this matter, I’ll adopt the principle of Kaizen. Being better than yesterday, and tomorrow than today is the best motivating factor to seemingly almost everytime you see yourself washed by the currents of depression. I understood that it is much safer to anticipate even the unpredictable questions that’ll appear. This way, we will be confident that we will be getting what is due. They say illustrations can make retention effective. Still, illustrations are consolidated groups of ideas. If you wrongly perceive a structure to be part of a smaller junction, then think again. Another thing is, when you are confused on what to write because they sound so the same, then it just reflects that you had not gone the extra mile. Read, Distinguish, Read, Distignuish, Familiarize their distinction. Furthermore, items that would actually come as a breeze would have an alter-effect if you are not using your common sense or you did not listen to the lecture. So next time, I’ll make sure I’ll take their opposites. After our quiz, we went to the barangay. Inside, Dr. Ramon Alojepan’s office, we were grilled to death. Honestly, I really did prepare because I do not want to appear incognizant of everything. I have to maintain my composure. Since then, my preparation did not fail me. The fruits of which was my answers to Dr. Alojepan’s EPI questions, specifically the dose, site, and route of immunization. It was a sigh of relief and a beam of pride. Preparation can lead you to extra miles. The feeling of which is just great. If I can be consistently like this, I can achieve what I want. Preparation is the remedy to our anxieties brought about by unfamiliarity of circumstances. So, when you see it fit that its perfectly implanted in the recesses of you’re brain, confidence is not anymore a commodity.

The Day I had to Reflect the Way I Managed My Team
“Together we stand, divided we fall!”
Group dynamics is important in a playing field. Such a playing field like FCS-making reserves no exemptions when it comes to matters like this. Like any desirable trait one would expect in a decent person, it is equally universal. We cannot forevermore bank on the idea of cramming. We need to move, and somehow a good knowledge on management of resources is an asset. In FCS-making, our biggest opponent is time. What’s more is that we are not only after the completion of the requirement but the fulfillment of quality in our tasks. Furthermore, we also value the myriad of things we get along as we make our case, and hopefully it’ll be instruments towards our improvisation. We know that we can successfully hurdle this challenge when we work together, face problems and solve them all together, and feel for each other’s misfortunes. We know we can strengthen our weaknesses and fuse them to become our motivation. All it takes is unity, and to sustain unity, we maintain constant communication, follow-throughs, and good rapport. In opportunities like the library time, we always keep in mind to seriously take it as a chance for case development. Not merely to discuss, and plan, and do all verbose activities, but more importantly to accomplish something. That is why at the end of it, we had our evaluation to determine what extent did we already have accomplish. We make sure that each person has a task to do, and each person is well-supported on details not clearly known, We function like a domino. We need each other to keep the stacks standing. But that doesn’t mean that we are always dependent, in fact it’s just the right mix. We are independent when we personally pay attention to details in our task, yet dependent for we know without each other, the whole FCS will not merit a completion. A few more days then oral defense sets in. I personally hope that God will give us the strength, the will, and the wisdom to sustain this effect.

The Day I Reflected on our FAG (Family Assessment Guide)
As far as securing supportive details for our FAG, and further inquiry into our prioritization, I guess I can say that this day has been fairly successful. At first, we thought that this could be another case of uninterest, a desperate move towards an indirect no. However, my thoughts became placid after the mother herself assured her cooperation for tomorrow’s visit. We cannot take another casualty, and I am just so glad someone actually welcomes our barging in. We are forevermore grateful. But before that we lived by the notion of uninterest. I told the rest of the group that God is just testing us will all these misfortunes. We are not the ones unfortunate. We have a good case so the wait and the understanding is worth every anxiety we feel for the past week. After discovering that the mother’s appointment didn’t pushed through, a breeze of wind figuratively pass through the alleyways. I was so happy. Another thing that made me happy that day is that while some of us are conducting the interview, my groupmates carried the task of establishing a light atmosphere by playing children to feel child-like. Some proceeded with the carcass of house measurements and ocular evaluation of residence. One of my classmates took the time to get Aliyah from Mrs. Dela Cerna’s care, and volunteered to guard her. I was really happy that all of us contributed towards this interview, may it just be a few laughs or what. After our data gathering, I had a disappointment, and that would be my quiz. I admit, I wasn’t able to really delve into the other details of eclampsia reporting. But anyways, its okay. I will just improve next time maybe because I studied incomprehensively last night. That is why when we had our reporting that afternoon, I made an effort to intently listen just to write the correct notes and register the correct information for tomorrow’s debacle.

The Day of Defense
I was already feeling the jitters before we even stared our duty. I know I prepared but still, this creepy nervousness never settles until I already take my stand and start my talking. Somehow, I need to feel the pace so I wouldn’t be so ignorant of the proceedings. I really cared to do my part. I know the only way to handle criticism is to criticize yourself in retrospect. I half-know where my weak points are, and I really conditioned myself to defend each one of them, and also admit what is not defensible brought about by rawness. There is no style involved. No matter how you get so suave or metro, principally when you don’t hand in reasonable rationales you may find yourself submerged in a current you know you can overcome or so. I wasn’t able to defend my FNCP because time ran out and our clinical instructor dismissed us earlier. Tomorrow though, our clinical instructor plans to finish all our FNCPs and reading that is twice the load of what we will report. In lieu of this, I will also do my part in preparing for a battle by saving a lot of information and transforming and using these to break away from the bondage of anxiety. With preparation and planning, we get a step ahead of others.

ayesha

My Paradise Escapade

12:11 AM
2 comments

I slept around 3 am 2 nights ago because i was chatting with a friend. Next early morning, my mother bugged the dreams out of me stating that i have gone more riotous these days, barring quality time opportunities with the rest of the family members. She wants me to go with them at some beach resort. I wouldn't want to. Its just that I would not want to go to Paradise, where SOME phony people breed and prey like "this-is-the-elitists-statement". Plus, the fee is way too overboard to have myself enjoyed, (at least i worry about the family's sake). Yes, this is the same paradise that each and everyone might have been accustomed to coming. We share the glory of how it became improved all these years and how the management has created uber amazing hardworking respectful staff. However my definition of a P100.00 entrance fee is more of "yipee, i can swim barefooted and not worry about injuring myself from what environmentalists call semi-dead corals", "i wasn't bitten by some baby sea creatures", "the black baby porcupine didn't prick the hell off my sole" and "thank God for sustainable long tides, i wouldn't worry about swimming in a “sealess” resort". Oh, i forgot, the sea actually returns by 3:00 pm, after a 5 hour hibernation. I wish the moon's placement is not too drawn over the samal island.
I hereby also encourage elementary institutions to come and see for themselves a great learning experience for their students making something out of the “sealess” resort. Perhaps, the management can further add in their "what you can do while you're here in samal" board, that from 10:00-3:00 pm, they can actually self-discover wonders from what is left in their sand, bring out their collection bottles and play either Mr. /Ms. nemo or that who laughs off seeing unique "masterpieces", taking them up and showing off like they have made a great discovery for their age group.
Others would see this as an opportunity to strengthen their budding love (be guilty lovers). Perhaps, the girl would say "hey look! a bunch of fingerlings swimming" and the dashing guy would retort in the spirit of budding love "wow! stay close, you might be bitten" (as if its some lurking piranha). Or that either of them pretends to be newly trained from walking, cunningly in an imbalanced fashion, the irregular placement and sizes of corals branded as the reason, but the real mask of action is hidden by a careless blush in the sun-tipped cheek. Funny. The top 5 sea creatures you will most likely sea will be: starfishes in all their greater glory, baby porcupines, assorted schools and colors of fingerlings (i would prefer "bolinao", lol), baby sea snakes, and duh, semi-dead corals.
Speaking about starfishes, my father, in his attempt to busy himself from the threat of nearing low tide, found a blue starfish. Because I do not concern my studies in biology, I am infact, a nursing student; I frantically said not to hold the starfish as it might be dangerously poisonous and maybe bite. A 7-9 year old kid heard me and saw the starfish that my father enjoyed looking at and replied obnoxiously (as a matter of factly) as if i'm the dummiest 18-year old alive that starfishes don't bite. Well then, okay. I can choose to shut up and wallow in self-pity. I chose to fight off as if i'm some 7-9 year old running to look for her mummy "why don't you try get it!". He went away as if hearing nothing. Ego back for an 18-year old like me. LOL (but pathetic, haha).
There were some Koreans that came that afternoon and it was timely that salvation shows no signs yet of appearing. Their kids apparently are VERY VERY VERY NOISY. As if really proud of something. One can perhaps hear exaltations of some Korean mantra, but to me its as if saying "we are the superior race".
The height of getting pissed that afternoon is the presence of a bunch of phonies who wore nothing short of "this is the elitists’ prostitution swimwear" together with their boyfriends. They were some teenage bunch who wanted to taste the prime of life by making fun of others who coincidentally just passed by their table. I swear if that happened to me, I will never back off from a punching streak. If they think they are the coolest people alive and that their bodies and beauty are to die for, isolate yourself in wishful thinking dude . As far as I'm concerned, you are just one of those who love to display the "displayable" but fall short in character substantiation. Life is not just about experiencing its prime. All the time its all about respect. You just painted your alma mater blacker.
Paradise actually sell buko at P 45.00 (as opposed to a measly 10.00 in the city proper). This is what the DA or DTI should also be looking into. Buko in samal may be a real prized fruit with fairly recognized impending extinction for the prize to soar absurdly high as this. What pained me is that I actually saw coconut trees nearby. I vocalized my concern of financial preservation to my father who seemed very "I-love-paradise-resort" mode. He replied that Paradise loaned much to develop the area. At least, this is the only way to keep their business alive. Gee, at least they could just have spared the buko.

ayesha

Cool Links

8:48 PM
0 comments

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ayesha

Fishy Helper

6:18 PM
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We have this small household problem. Three nights ago, while I am busy watching chopped movie episodes of Juno, my father propped me to remove my earphones immediately. By the look of his face, he could have passed as the texas chainsaw murderer sidekick. He had been out to talk to our neighbor about the growing strangeness of our helper. Apparently, it was confirmed that our helper brings our own cooked meals for her security guard boyfriend. The "fishiness" started when my father went out early morning for his routine jog. As he curbed around the corner of Venus Street, he saw our helper carrying a bowl of food. Upon seeing my father, she quickly hid it behind our back. Since my mother (seventh from Annabelle Rama) was with my father at that time, my father chose not to react. Then he said there was this second time my mother left a plateful of "lechon" (roasted pig) in the refrigerator. Morning came and my mother rechecked the lechon contents and found it diminished considerably. She asked our helper about the sudden decrease (confident that none of the immediate family members did it). Our helper replied "ambot lng, asa pa man diay nako na dalhon". There was something wrong about her reply. My detective conan instincts say that the last few words were unnecessary and that it preempted something. Mr. Bernales, our neighbor also attested that when my father leaves to drive us to school, her fellow-helper (that of my grandmother's) would say "wala na si kuya lit". Then when the 2 of them are here inside the house, they would use their native language to converse. My father (already partially paranoid) reasoned that if they were not hiding something, why is there a need to talk that way. He said that he will be firing her when my mother comes back from Marbel. He could not imagine if this matter went up a notch higher. If food becomes objects, and objects become money, this thing surely should be stopped. Demo, there is something that keeps me from firing our helper. The thing is, she has been with us for the longest time possible. If the average stay of a helper in our family is 5 months, she has stayed for more than a year. She has been with us when uncle and his family came back, when our lola suffered much from cancer till her death and wake, when our cousins did not have a helper and offered to do their laundry. She has been trusted by another grandmother during her trips to the farm, to where my other uncle worked and has even sent off this uncle to Saudi. I really really like her a lot. She is more than a helper for me. I really don't understand but there's something special in the way she works. I will never forget the time she sends us off to school or the time I vomited and cleaned it up. It’s not just "because-its-her-job" aspect. I could not talk to my parents about this. This is something feely, emotional, corny and apparently, they are not like that.

ayesha

8:55 PM
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i updated my blog a little. i ended up trying to figure out why my first entry is so far from where its supposed to be. i have already edited the html a gazillion times, still the same problem. now, im using this method and hopefully this prob will be over. i also edited my fastweb account. i wanted to find a scholarship as early as now, so i can process whatever it is the requirements needed. i cannot do this alone. and my parents seem so traditional in everything. i happen to view life as an octopus. hopefully, i'll succeed. 2 more years and i have to figure out what i'm really for.

ayesha

Diary Entree (way back when I had >50 zits)

8:25 AM
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This is a tribute to my friend izy. During the whole Lapanday (a banana producing corporation at Mandug, Davao) internship, i learned a lot about life and how to make the most of it. She even let me borrowed some of her anime collections (w/c i think is the most obvious reason that propelled me to type all these). I had fun not just inside the lab, but in how my life has seemingly took a 180 degree turn. i am also mindful to the fact that she may never read this, for i think she has never surfed this blog yet. anyways, this is a real diary entry (who cares). i really wrote this from my notebook because way back then and until now i think, i am the type of person who never ceased to be amazed in keeping handwritten treasures.

May 3, 2005
Dear Diary,
Yesterday, our internship ended with a Japanese dinner. The 4 of us went to I LOVE SUSHI for an experience of chopsticks, eat all you can rice, dummplings, chicken lollipops and stir fried spicy noodles! Plus, a great sip of their new strawberry red iced tea! We ate our hearts towards independence day. We reminisced the times we shared during the 3-week company immersion. It was tiring yet fun - especially when you had to go to the coop kiosk to eat lunch. You have to haplessly endure a 30 minute walk (to and fro) from the research facility to the canteen. And speaking about road quality, it was GRAVELED GRAVELED GRAVELED, and the latter part of the way was full of squishy fruits. so we had to endure the squirts as well. and by the way we wore sandals (though i think that was only me)which increased the everyday suffering by 50-fold. For the whole 20 days, we surrendered ourselves fully to dishes of corned beef (because the other dishes weren't palatable at all, haha!). Our slogan: Corned beef yesterday,corned beef today, corned beef tomorrow. If there was a disease that specified an overconsumption of corned beef, we really are highly contagious and are suffering from severe complications. We had our powerpoint presentations from our UBER SIMPLE PH TESTING assignment which was witnessed by 2 managers and 2 supervisors. I was so nervous at that time that everytime I play teacher and point at important details (it was LCD), I saw my hand dramatically tremble. It was so embarassing. In the end, we earned the decision of the manager to use the certain surfactant. He played kindergarten teacher and said we had a very good presentation (personally, i think it was really nice, and the manager was nice also, so nice presentation+nice manager = thank you). He even clapped for it. I learned an important lesson from him; "science is not overnight. therefore, if the hypothesis will not work, then to conclude immediately that the experiment is a failure is a no no for every scientist." He was really kind right from the start of our internship down to the last day. He even introduced us to their boss. The internship in Lapanday garnered a special place in my heart. I will never forget:
1. Fushigi Yuugi nights (right after i arrive from the internship till 2 am)
2. Samurai x nights (at how i really wanted to be like Kenshin)
3. curses towards our blasted DDR, which by the way deprived me the luxury to watch those rented cds
4. the anxieties of being left by the carpool so i always make it a point to rise up at 5:45 am
5. the nice people in the lab (ate elna, ate irene, sir alex, sir chris, Mr. fabellar, mr. delos santos (izy's dad), mr. fabregar, sir toto, ate dizie, the statistics-guy, mr. bernard, at mae 1 &2, ate lenlen, ate matet,ate connie, ate joy of the insectary, and ate elsa)
6. the hatred i had for Mam Irene for underestimating my skills. There was a time she sarcastically told me if I was okay pouring the solution. I wanted to punch her face.
7. sleeping times and the fear that I might drool on the table i was sleeping. sometimes, i wake up discovering that i had my entire mouth opened the whole time. my saliva dried and my lips chapped.
8. the surprise visit of Mam Golvin (our i-am-here-now-to-check-if-you-have-been-productive representative). we were so happy because in the chem lab izy and i were really busy. i was doing centrifugation for sample bananas while izy was heating at the superoven i think. i don't know about dareen and ziggy but they were always busy at the plant pathology department.
9. kuya chris, for stupidly treating us like little kids.
the sayonara party of ate mae 1 &2. we ate chocolate cake and macaroni salad.
10. APPLE-BEAR bakery/eatery and its kawaii owners. we had to stop by because we need to go fetch izy's mom from work. and izy has such big eyes and strong conviction not to let this opportunity pass. we ate leche flan and spaghetti. The brother of Izy's crush was so nice, he gave what he was eating to the poor fellow.
11. our dinner escapade to KFC where we helped ourselves to their gravy. after which good news (read: we have stipend) yehey!
12. the peeping sun. izy's dad always prod izy to take a picture because it is a once in a lifetime exposure. the ever rebellious izy countered that she has already seen it 5 times.
13. my trips to Landbank for getting my 4 time high lost ATM card.
14. the cutest guy to ever set foot in Lapanday, the perkins elmer promoting guy who wore a deep olive green collared shirt inserted in black slacks. I think he's chinese. the whole chem lab sat dreamily eyeing him as he fixed his tie.
15.the charm of codenamed "banana-cow", a tagalog-speaking guy who has eyes only for his PC.
16. our visit to the insectary where we viewed bugs eating insects on infested squash
17. how much i'd like to die when we were forced/ made to fold thousands of filter papers
18. corned beef (enough said)
19. the comfort of staying all day in an airconditioned room.
20. the free lunch, free snacks, free carpool, and free shirt
21. the generosity of my comrades
22. the practice of korean alpabet and izy's help in providing me a resource.

everything sure is missing.... but im really glad i kept the memories safe...

ayesha